Lorette and Sherry (and everybody else at Deafinitely Dogs):
I just wanted to write to say how extraordinary what you all do actually is. I was in a really bad place. Bad memories from my military past that I thought were long and forgotten weren't so long and forgotten. They came back worse than before. And then when my good friend (we served together in the Persian Gulf) took his own life, it sent me spiraling worse. It got to the point where I knew that something had to change. Something else had to happen. Everything I had tried up until that point didn't work. I had seen service dogs before but mainly for the visually impaired. I kinda knew that they were also being trained for PTSD, but I didn't know everything about it. So I started searching Google. But it wasn't until I saw a facebook post about Deafinitely Dogs from the mother of a girl (that my son is friends with) who uses a guide dog that I decided to look into it.
It took alot for me to reach out to you because that's just not the type of person I've become. Actually, I avoided human contact at this point in my life, but something about Deafinitely Dogs made me feel like it was something that was meant to be. This was a decision that I'll be happy about for the rest of my life. That's because of you all at Deafinitely Dogs, I actually have a life again. I was so scared reaching out, but you all made the entire process so comfortable, and it was easy to tell that you all cared so much about what you do.
As I said, I was at a point in my life where I didn't reach out to people. I didn't even like leaving the house. It was like I was afraid of the world around me or how I would react to the world around me. I missed out on so many things like having friends locally or going out in public for the fun of it. I felt like I was half a man, half a husband to my wife, and half a father to my children. I felt like my family deserved so much better than what I was giving them. I was afraid of many things, sudden loud noises, sudden bright flashes of light, and things coming up to me unexpectedly. The few times I did go places with my family would get shut down quickly because of how easily I would get triggered. All I wanted was for my wife to have a normal husband and for my two boys to have a normal dad, and it was looking like that was never going to happen.
Then, because of everybody at Deafinitely Dogs, my furry four-legged hero came trotting into my life. I remember when you called, saying that you wanted me to meet a dog named Gunner. I remember getting off the phone and the tears started coming because for the first time in a long time, I actually had hope. You see, the very last time I heard from my friend before he died was when he sent me a t-shirt that had my job rating when I was in the Navy, a Gunner's Mate. You wanted me to meet a dog named Gunner, so I was so hopeful that I would, once again, be Gunner's Mate. It seemed so perfect, and I was so excited and so hopeful that it would work out. From the moment I first saw my "curly-haired wingman," he looked at me with those eyes that said everything's gonna be okay. My heart melted!!!
The training process was pretty challenging, but never once did I not feel the support of everybody at Deafinitely Dogs. When Gunner started staying with me, I've always felt supported. I still feel bad about sending questions at 8 or 9 o'clock at night and sometimes on the weekends, but they always got answered. I quickly realized that this was going to be a lifelong friendship. Now that I'm learning more and more, my questions are getting a little less frequent, but I'm never afraid to reach out with a question, which was a big step for me: not being as afraid.
It seemed like Gunner and I bonded instantly, and he has made all the difference in my life. I'm getting out of the house more, even if it's just taking a walk with Gunner. I'm getting less and less afraid of going out in public. One of me and Gunner's favorite things is sitting in the patio area of local coffeeshops. Or I will just sit out on my back deck with Gunner and a cup of coffee watching the sunrise. That's when something unfamiliar started happening to me. I wasn't really as afraid of things anymore, and I'm more and more at peace with myself and the world around me. I'm initiating date nights with my wife (something I never really did) and taking my two boys to more and more places. It seems like my wish is coming true about me being happy and at peace. In our first family photo with Gunner, my wife's friends comments on how good they were, but they also said that my smile seemed like an actual smile, like I was a happy person. It was something they didn't really see before in me. My wife is starting to get a normal husband, and my two boys are starting to get a normal dad (although they won't admit it, but they're teenagers so what can you do?). We have laughter in our house now. I was just talking to my wife the other day, and I told her that I can now tell she's always created a happy home for us all. But through Deafinitely Dogs, Gunner came trotting into my life and helped open my eyes to something that was already there. So I'm no longer as afraid to keep opening my eyes to all the peace and happiness in life because I once again have a life. And that's something for which I will always be indescribably grateful to all of you. Thank you so much for giving me Gunner, giving my wife her husband back, and giving my two boys their dad back.
With all the gratitude in the world,
Cody Jordan (and Gunner)